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Her husband does not want more children but she does
June 24, 2011
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Having a lot of children is something that is encouraged in Islam and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) urged Muslims to do that. Abu Dawood (2050) narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yazaar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I have found a woman who is from a good family and is beautiful, but she does not bear children; should I marry her?” He told him not to. Then he came to him a second time and said something similar and he told him not to marry her. Then he came to him a third time and said something similar and he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers.”
It is permissible to delay having children for a certain amount of time if that serves an interest, such as if the woman is weak or sick. But it is not permissible to do that for fear of poverty or for fear of raising the children, because that implies thinking negatively of Allah, may He be exalted.
As for using means of preventing or delaying pregnancy in individual cases where there real and certain harm will result from it, such as if the pregnant woman will have to give birth in a manner other than that which is usual, and she will have to have surgery to bring the child forth, in which case there is nothing in sharee’ah to prevent her doing that. The same applies if it is delayed for other legitimate shar’i or health reasons confirmed by a trustworthy Muslim doctor. Contraception becomes a must in a case where it is proven that harm would result for the mother or there is the fear that she may die, according to the opinion of a trustworthy Muslim doctor. End quote from Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/200.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: Is it permissible to use birth control so that a person has a child every five years, because he sees the corruption in society and would not be able to raise a lot of children close in age in this overwhelmingly corrupt society?
He replied: So long as this is the intention, then it is not permissible to do this, because it reflects a lack of trust in Allaah with regard to the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said “Marry the one who is loving and fertile…”
But if the birth control has to do with the condition of the woman – because she cannot cope with repeated pregnancies – this may be permissible, but it is better not to do it.
If he insists on his attitude even though you want a child, then he is doing wrong, but you should not respond to his action by refusing to share his bed, because two wrongs do not make a right. Al-Bukhaari (3237) and Muslim (1736) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.’”
So do your duty and ask Allah for your rights. Be patient and seek reward with Allah, and continue to advise him and do not ask for divorce. Rather you should protect your home and your family, and pay attention to raising your children. Ask Allah for righteous offspring, for if it is decreed that a child should be born, that will not be prevented by withdrawal, condoms or anything else.
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