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Parents-children relationship
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Visits
593
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Visits
593
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Visits
593
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May 04, 2012
One of the major social issues in the context of Pakistan and unfortunately not addressed comprehensively is of sensitive relationship between parents and children. To be more exact, absence of realization of intensity, gravity and sensitivity of this relation leads to a quagmire where conflict arises that further entangle this pure relationship.
An appropriate scrutiny of this dire reality unfolds a pathetic truth that significance of parenting even in the context of Islam has not been understood, which actually has a unique role in the formulation of better human society. Unlike animals, humans have a role in the creative process of God without whose understanding the evolution of human society from animal state to human, being the crown of all creations, would never be possible, particularly in the context of Islam. However, beyond any doubt, even being blind to deep religious studies one can easily understand the purpose of begetting child if one reflects on human birth.
Human is the only entity that unlike other living beings has been endowed with free will and intellect and very close observation of a human crawling child and animal’s can reveal how human is free to pounce on any eatable or non-eatable to take into mouth, whereas instinct of an animal keeps it confined to only those eatables that are meant for it. This observation can expose a fact that from the very childhood a child is, by nature, inclined to act freely; a clear manifestation of thinking brain. This characteristic of ‘act freely’ is entirely an unrealized phenomenon particularly in the context of third world countries like Pakistan.
In Europe, the sense of parenting has been realized to a greater extent, but in developing countries like Pakistan where social fabric is an intricate reality with low literacy rate, gender disparity, sectarianism and many more issues, parenting is even a vague idea. Beyond any doubt, even among educated class parenting is considered to be fulfilling responsibilities like providing best education and some other needs, and what as a human a child needs may be a matter of concern for few parents. Absence of such a realization on the part of parents initiates the widening of gap particularly at an early age of a child whose activities entirely remain confined to observations, which in later age, either after some education at high school or penetration into society in any way, strengthens his belief of either being the most neglected human or slave to the whims of his food providers. The aftermath in most of the cases is chaos as a child either spoils him or herself in many ways known to us or develops a rebellious attitude towards parents in particular and society in general. This pathetic and unrealized phenomenon never allows any society to emerge as a civilized one.
In our society where woman has still not been emancipated from the clutches of slavery, though apparent freedom has calmed down some overwhelming souls, children’s entity as a free soul is like a matter of “untold myth”. Societies with the profound understanding of parenting as a vital role in the formulation of civilized human society and children as a pivotal extension of futuristic human endeavors have progressed tremendously. In the realm of human societal evolution begetting a child is entirely a matter of a great purpose and it’s not an animal sexual exertion.
This realistic understanding of human’s presence on the surface of earth would extinguish overwhelming pessimism that prevents parents from shaping the personality of a child as a free and independent human entity which in result can bridge the gap between two generations. This realization could easily turn the attitude of parents being a despotic ruler into an affectionate companion and a guide whose vigilance is always present to ensure the smooth march towards destination and avoid possible threats that hinder a delightful journey of life. This attitude of parents would simultaneously inculcate a deeper sense of responsibility in children, which in case of otherwise despite being imposed, mars the self-identity and independent personality of a child, hence resulting in psychological disability at an individual level and social disability at a larger scale.
To develop such a result oriented attitude, massive and collective efforts are required which could be initiated from mosques in our community as religion is the only sole consolation for this disturbed society and people’s faith in religion as a true guide is firm even in today’s materialistic race. Our religious scholars’ responsibility is to interpret Quranic injunctions defining the psychological, emotional, intellectual and societal relationship of parents and children, which unfortunately is not the case so far. Parents’ obedience is much emphasized which if in broader context explained would pave the way for better relationship between parents and children. Parents’ role towards their progeny in its entirety is out of syllabus and children’s role as an obedient soldier is the chapter open to read aloud. Begetting a child means confining humanity to only an animal activity, and weaving this activity into pure, balanced and sacred relationship is a step forward towards a better human society and a part of Divine plan.
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